What if impostor syndrome, sensitivity, and kindness were superpowers?
Lessons in leadership, empathy and resilience, inspired by Jacinda Ardern’s memoir A Different Kind of Power + my top resources for impostor syndrome
I love reading non-fiction, and I recently got into memoirs. Today, I’d love to share my reflections on a new memoir by a leader I admire, and how it relates to leadership and our work. As a bonus🎁, to help you put this into practice, I’ve shared a selection of some helpful resources I’ve found on this topic.
When Jacinda Ardern became New Zealand’s Prime Minister in 2017, she instantly became my role model.
At the time, I couldn’t quite articulate why. Looking back, I realise it was mainly because she was a younger woman in a role I had only ever seen older men occupy. That felt revolutionary enough.
But reading her story in this new book helped me understand her in a far deeper way. I learned about her life, her values, her doubts. I was surprised to feel seen and validated. Her success was inspiring, but it was her humanness, which I found really comforting, that made her accomplishments relatable.
Through Jacinda’s story, it was easier to see how feelings of doubt or impostor syndrome can be taken to mean “wrong way!” when they might actually mean “you do care…keep going this way.”
Here are the 9 takeaways that helped me reframe kindness, sensitivity, and imposter syndrome as superpowers that enable me to do hard things, even when I don’t feel like I belong.
1. Why we need leaders we can actually relate to
Jacinda’s early years resonate with me: a working-class, low-income upbringing, part-time jobs as a student, and a long dance with self-doubt and impostor syndrome. She writes openly about hesitating, overthinking, and sometimes feeling like she didn’t belong.
I found it interesting that her political awakening began in Murupara, where she witnessed poverty and deprivation as a child. Those early experiences shaped how she saw the world and the kind of leader she became.
It made me reflect on how few leaders come from backgrounds like hers. When leadership is dominated by privilege, it does not necessarily make those leaders unqualified. But it can create a gap in understanding. Leaders who have walked the paths of their beneficiaries often bring a different kind of empathy and insight.
Representation matters. It matters not just in who holds power but also in whose stories are told. When more leaders from diverse backgrounds are visible, they inspire others to imagine themselves there too.
2. Empathy as strength
The different kind of power that Jacinda is referring to is based on kindness and empathy. At the beginning of the book, she talks about these traits as perceived weaknesses. At one point, she confided in a successful Member of Parliament whom she thought was good at taking things on the chin. To her surprise, that MP said:
“Promise me you won’t try to toughen up... You feel things because you have empathy and care. The moment you change that is the moment you stop being good at your job.”
I could relate because I’ve often thought that my emotions are getting in the way of being a successful leader. Having heard her story, I don’t feel this way anymore.
3. Channelling perceived weaknesses
Jacinda finishes the book with a strong statement, which really hit home for me:
“If you have impostor syndrome or question yourself, channel that; it will help you. You will read more, seek out advice and humble yourself. If you're anxious, if you can imagine the worst-case scenario always, channel that too. It will mean you’re ready when your most challenging days arrive. And if you’re thin-skinned and sensitive, if criticism cuts you in two, that is not weakness; it’s empathy. In fact, all the traits that you believe would come to be your flaws would come to be your strengths. The things you thought would cripple you would, in fact, make you stronger, make you better, they will give you a different kind of power, and make you a leader that this world, with all its turmoil, might just need”
Last year, I took a deep dive into my own mind and thought patterns, intending to reduce my anxiety and its impact on my life. My mental health coach told me that I am good at what I do because of my anxiety, not despite it. That felt revolutionary to hear. As I became more attentive to my emotions, I’ve realised that anxiety is indeed something that keeps me on my toes and helps me remember and act on problems. I do think that if not managed, anxiety and impostor syndrome can cripple your potential. However, putting together my coach’s and Jacinda’s perspectives, I learned that part of managing is to find a way to channel my mind’s patterns into actions aligned with my ambitions.
4. The importance of allies & opportunity
Jacinda credits her aunt, a political volunteer, who got her first internship in politics, the MP who risked his position to promote her candidacy, and the mentors who believed in her. Hard work mattered, but so did the village around her.
Leadership doesn’t grow in isolation. Some people need skill-building, others need introductions or confidence coaching, but everyone needs support. I see one of my primary missions as growing other leaders. And I know I can’t grow alone either. That’s why I work with an executive coach and regularly seek advice from those further along the path.
5. Human first, leader second – even when lives are on the line
Jacinda shares stories of regret, mistakes, and uncertainty with striking honesty: “Regret… presumes you know the counterfactuals.” Instead of claiming perfection, she models growth. While critics focus on what wasn’t done, she centres the lives saved through her choices. What makes her account powerful is that she focuses on outcomes over optics without hiding the fact that she acted as a flawed and fallible human, just like the rest of us.
It made me reflect on some of my own decisions that, with hindsight, I could have made differently. It brings me comfort to know that I can acknowledge, often publicly or at least to my team, what I wish I had done better, while also practising self-compassion and freeing myself from endlessly replaying mistakes. I have come to believe there is no such thing as a perfect decision. There are only tradeoffs.
6. When leaders go against the current, they need us
She endured sexism from day one, worked in a male-dominated space, and gave birth and raised a baby while in office. Reading about managing MP duties while nursing makes me think: my challenges are easier than hers. And yet she persisted, challenging assumptions gracefully but firmly.
It also made me reflect on the importance of providing intentional support to people from underrepresented groups and to anyone who might need extra scaffolding at certain stages of life or leadership. Talent and persistence matter, but so does the ecosystem we create around people.
7. Crisis leadership: the unseen job description
Ardern was PM during the Christchurch mosque attacks, the White Island volcano eruption, the COVID-19 pandemic, and a bovine disease outbreak, plus floods, wildfires, and more. She spearheaded swift responses, from passing gun-law reform just 10 days after the Christchurch shootings to implementing strict COVID-19 measures that saved lives. She faced protests, polarisation, and declining approval but kept making tough calls in moments of crisis.
For me, it is a reminder that leadership is choosing to take responsibility for future crises you cannot yet foresee, trusting that with enough information, judgment, and work, you will find a way through. It also means accepting that some people will disagree with your decisions, sometimes fiercely, and learning to be at peace with that is part of the job.
8. Balancing kindness & effectiveness
While Jacinda’s kindness was celebrated globally, critics pointed to areas of underperformance: child poverty remained high, housing targets were missed, deficits grew, and crime and economic tensions escalated. Looking at independent analyses of her leadership, I saw real gaps where things could have gone better. This tension reminded me that empathy alone is not enough. Leadership also demands execution, follow-through, and the ability to deliver results when it matters most.
9. Burnout as a main risk factor
In the end, I think Jacinda was a victim of burnout: shaped by the intense circumstances, but perhaps also by an inability to rest and recover properly. She said she "no longer had enough in the tank to lead", and I deeply respect that. Two terms in office are already a significant contribution, especially considering all the challenges she went through.
Her decision reminded me of something important: no one expects you to sacrifice yourself at the altar of leadership or impact. Your well-being matters, and it must be protected consistently if your work is to remain sustainable.
Final thoughts
Jacinda Ardern showed me that traits I once saw as weaknesses, such as sensitivity, self-doubt, and empathy, can be leadership strengths. She proved that kindness can coexist with decisiveness and that being human does not diminish your power. Her legacy is not perfect, far from it, but it challenges my own beliefs about who gets to lead and how. It is also a reminder to pair kindness with effectiveness and to invest in your own well-being, especially in demanding roles and difficult times.
🎁If you want to read more about impostor syndrome and explore some tools and advice, here are some resources I found useful:
My experience with imposter syndrome — and how to (partly) overcome it (80k)
What People Get Wrong About Impostor Syndrome (Psychology Today, Clearer Thinking)
Imposter Syndrome: Causes, Types, and Coping Tips (HelpGuide.org)
Notes on Impostor Syndrome (EA Forum)
Two of my LinkedIn posts on the topic:
Over to you
Who are the leaders who’ve made you feel seen? What lessons are you taking away? I’d love to hear from you.
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Hi, I’m Sofia Balderson. I lead Hive, a global community for people working to end factory farming. I started Notes from the Margin to share the messier, more personal reflections that don’t fit in formal updates. If you care about leading, belonging, or building something that matters (especially from the edges), you might enjoy sticking around.